Learning, thinking and practising are inseparable from one another.This is what I learnt from Confucius. :)
There's so much that I can learn from him, and today's placement work emphasized this idea even more. I went through the tape review of my first individual session with my supervisor. It felt quite awkward at the start when I had no idea how the supervision with him would turn out to be, as the initial idea of watching how I conducted the session on tape with my supervisor felt scary enough! I was very much self-conscious.
However, as the supervision session progressed, I realised that my supervisor was more concerned about my learning as usual, so I eased a little and focused on listening to my supervisor's suggestions and comments.
Even though he did provide a few compliments on areas I've done well in the session, they didn't bring my spirits up too much, when I started the day with such a heavy note--2 full hours of supervision. Furthermore, the session was pretty much serious most of the time and somehow it felt very long and draggy for me. It could most likely be some resistance on my part that further sapped away my energy. I wasn't fully prepared to accept whatever that came. I took some time to adjust and learn to slowly accept my own mistakes and learn from them gradually during the supervision session. Frankly speaking, it wasn't easy for me, especially when it comes to facing and accepting my own mistakes, at the same time seeing them beneficial and as opportunities for me to grow, both personally and professionally.
I'm still afraid to make mistakes, but at least it isn't as bad as before right now, because the environment created at my placement is very, very safe. If I don't make as much mistakes as I want to as a Student Social Worker now, it'll be too late for me to do so after this placement ends in another 5-6 weeks later. The next real practice which I can have will be the real world as an official Social Worker.
The times at placement made me feel so much more busier than before, and the many experiences which I've been through so far, I didn't get to exprience them before during my first placement at SAGE. The feelings of being a real Social Worker, the feelings of being emotionally-hurt by the youths' responses and behaviour, the feelings of being responsible for my work and actions, the feelings of achievement and success when I see the youths progressing well, the feelings of 'high' when I can engage in conversation and activities with both the youths and my colleagues...
Due to the heavy workload I have on hand, there is a need to slow down and pace myself when it comes to
self-care and
self-reflection. I have to constantly remind myself what purpose I have in mind when I'm doing certain things and react in certain ways to various situations. I have to constantly evaluate on my own actions at the end of each day. All these can get quite draining at times. Therefore, I've learnt that no matter what,
self-care is of utmost importance! :D
So, questions that I have to always keep in mind:
1) What is my purpose and intention of doing or reacting?2) What are the consequences of my actions?3) Have I digested what I've learnt and put them into practice?Now it's time to sleep and recover for tomorrow's GP Session 3! Woots!!
:D
