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Disclaimer


WELCOME TO
http://i-am-special-as-always.blogspot.com*

This blog belongs to Shar! =D

Let me introduce myself. I'm a lady who craves for a simple life, in this complicated world. I love the love that exists in this world. I smile when I experience love, I tear when I'm touched, I daydream when I'm bored. I like things simple, but also deep--the depth of things, very meaningful.

I have love and sunshine bursting out of me. :D
Believe it or not, love always wins.



Hello

Shar! :)
I've survived 21 years!
A Happy Vegetarian!
The Special Leftie.



Loves

Chocolates.
Smiles.
People.
MSN.
ORANGE.Green.Yellow.
Music. KTV.
Movies.
Sports.
Outdoors.
Nature.
Self-growth.
Puzzles.
Math.



UN-Loves

smokers.
boredom.
gloomy atmosphere.
my bad habits/manners.
arguments.



Goals

A BOOKSHELF FULL OF MY FAVE BOOKS!!
Play guitar/piano.
happiness.
good health.
travel around the world.
watch shooting stars.
a better world.

也要用自己的爱感化人心。 (:



Music



Music Box


MusicPlaylist
Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Shout!



c box



Memories



  • December 2006
  • January 2007
  • February 2007
  • March 2007
  • April 2007
  • May 2007
  • June 2007
  • July 2007
  • August 2007
  • September 2007
  • October 2007
  • November 2007
  • December 2007
  • January 2008
  • February 2008
  • March 2008
  • April 2008
  • May 2008
  • June 2008
  • July 2008
  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • October 2008
  • November 2008
  • December 2008
  • January 2009
  • February 2009
  • March 2009
  • April 2009
  • May 2009
  • June 2009
  • July 2009
  • August 2009
  • September 2009
  • October 2009
  • November 2009
  • December 2009
  • January 2010
  • February 2010
  • March 2010
  • April 2010
  • May 2010
  • June 2010
  • July 2010
  • August 2010
  • September 2010
  • October 2010
  • November 2010
  • December 2010
  • January 2011
  • February 2011
  • March 2011
  • April 2011
  • May 2011
  • June 2011
  • July 2011
  • August 2011
  • September 2011
  • October 2011


  • Thanks


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    Let. Me. Go.



    Monday, December 27, 2010

    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    #9

    要有愛的表現,首先要有愛的感受。



    世界因你而美丽 11:44 PM





    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    前攝行為‏

    It means proactive behaviour, controlling the situation instead of letting the situation control you. It takes great courage, strength, wisdom and cultivation for this. I believe everyone has the capability to do it. :)

    Jiayou!

    This shall be the last post before Year 2011 comes, so as usual, I'm going to have 3 New Year Resolutions for Year 2011:
    1) Patience
    2) Perseverance
    3) Positive thinking

    3Ps.
    What a special new year resolution I've made. For the first time, they all start with the same letter. Good, easier to remember too. :) Looking through my past years' New Year Resolutions, looks like I've not been doing some again. I need to continue the past years' as well.

    Happy New Year, everyone!
    May God bless. :)



    世界因你而美丽 11:17 PM



    Tuesday, December 21, 2010

    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    3.46, very, very close to 3.5

    I've used up all my s/u options. Next semester would mean extra hard work for me because I can't afford to get B- and below anymore.

    Honours or not, I shall put it aside first, because what matters more is not the 3.5 mark, but the determination to put in my best.

    Honours or not, I'm still going to work hard and do my very best.

    Social work rocks! Although I'm getting better at it each time, I don't study to score. I study for the good of the people. :)

    And that's what matters.




    Speaking of which, applying what I've learnt requires skills. I haven't been practising what I've learnt so far, due to my laziness. I need to motivate myself even more. I'll pen down the list of things by today which I want to apply to my daily life. It's time I make some changes to my life once again. :)



    世界因你而美丽 1:35 PM



    Sunday, December 19, 2010

    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    #8
    You become what you believe.
    Have faith in yourself, you just need to find where God fits you in this world.
    The first step is always the hardest to take.



    世界因你而美丽 9:21 PM





    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    Time flies really fast this week.

    I come to appreciate living in the present, especially when I'm someone who tense up easily.
    There was so much activities going on for me this past week and I almost went breathless with my current health condition. My only hope is to keep reminding myself to focus in the present. This is when I start to enjoy every moment of the time I had, both sweet and bitter.

    I had thought chalet is going to be a very tedious job for me as I had to be involved in so many things according to the schedule we planned out. In the end, I managed to sleep as many hours there as I usually sleep at home, each night at the chalet. Haha! If I kept thinking about my roles and responsibilities, I might go crazy. So, just enjoy the moment. It turned out great! :) I'm so glad. Everyone seemed more experienced, more bonded, even though they're all worn out at the end of the chalet. I don't feel as regretful as before for suggesting a chalet in the earlier time of this year. Everything is worth it. Thank God. :)

    The next few weeks are going to be full of fun and challenges as well.

    But for now, I just want to pray for the best for the release of my exam results.

    It's just less than 2 days away.
    *crosses fingers*

    How I wish I could go for the Honours year.
    I've mostly given up this hope already actually... Sighs.
    My results so far is just mediocre, nothing big to talk about.

    Unless a miracle happens.

    (And she continues to wish upon the shooting stars...)



    世界因你而美丽 9:05 PM



    Friday, December 17, 2010

    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    OH NO.

    WHERE IS MY MOTIVATION?

    WHY IS IT PUMPING LIKE MAD?

    WHY IS IT ABOUT TO FLOW DOWN SOON?

    WHY DOES EVERYTHING SEEM TO BE GOING IN THE OTHER DIRECTION?

    WHY???



    世界因你而美丽 12:30 AM



    Wednesday, December 15, 2010

    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    #7

    Motivation-I decided I need posters like that for myself.
    I thought you all might need it too.



    世界因你而美丽 1:02 AM





    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    Amazing that I'm suddenly very energetic now.

    I think after I'm done with my job, I'll just crumble in my bed.

    Looking at my schedule...
    I'm about to cry already. So many things ahead, yet so many things undone.
    Good thing is, there're some things done already. I'm glad.

    Probably that's why my back aches like mad. I have to start learning how to manage my stress level, because my "nerves might be tighter than the others", according to Ed.

    Meditation? Yoga? Relaxing exercises?

    I don't want to feel sick anymore.
    I don't want to feel so listless anymore.
    I don't want to be a patient waiting and wasting my time away anymore.

    Today's polyclinic experience is one of the worst nightmares I've ever had.
    At least I know that my spine is all right.
    I really dislike the wait.
    5 hours spent there... Came home and slept for 45 minutes.
    Worst thing is, I didn't do much constructive work today.
    Practically almost the whole day wasted.

    I need to get my backache fixed!
    I'm sure there's a cure for it!
    Gambatteh! >.< !!



    世界因你而美丽 12:12 AM



    Tuesday, December 14, 2010

    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    I'm still waiting to see the doctor at the polyclinic...

    The website says:
    "Weekday mornings, Saturdays and post public-holidays are peak periods where you would experience a longer waiting time."

    Isn't it peak period almost all the time???
    Sighs~

    That's why I dislike being a patient, so helpless, no freedom to do my own things, and have to wait for my turn to see the doctor, especially the polyclinic. If not for my backache...

    Bored.

    Anyway, I realised something: If I focus on other things, I don't feel pain on my back during these times.
    However, the not-as-good fact is that I can't focus on doing things all the time, can I?



    世界因你而美丽 11:49 AM



    Friday, December 10, 2010

    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    #6
    We always hope others can forgive us,
    yet, we tend not to forgive ourselves.



    世界因你而美丽 9:25 AM





    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    今天学到的:

    忏悔、
    反省、

    改进,
    才可以学习原谅自己

    加油!



    世界因你而美丽 9:18 AM



    Wednesday, December 8, 2010

    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    #5
    Hope for criticisms, not compliments.



    世界因你而美丽 7:15 PM





    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    五荤当中的蕖是什么啊?
    到底要怎么找它的图片呢?
    为什么它的图片在网上这么难找呢?这种菜有那么稀少吗?
    嗨~你快点给我出来咧!
    真是的!
    =.=


    Today I've many thoughts going through my mind. (yeah, I read that people have more than 6000 thoughts everyday?) But today especially, the thoughts left deep impressions on my mind:

    Firstly, it was about the reason why people feel embarrassment or the sense of being awkward. I thought deeper...and the answer is: Because of judgements. We're all afraid how others would think about what we do, who we really are etc., which might lead to some unexpected responses that we do not like. People judge. And why do people judge? Because they've their own values, beliefs and own life experiences. Because they want to feel a sense of belonging to the normal group, and not with people or things who seem abnormal or out of place from others. We want to feel right and be acknowledged by others that the choice we make is right. Basically, it all boils down to feeling loved and accepted by others.

    As I was on my way for tuition, I stepped into the lift and overheard the conversation of 2 women, who looked like the elderly mother and middle-aged daughter. Somehow, they didn't seem like Singaporeans, but that isn't the main gist of the situation. The daughter was telling her mum about her past experience with taxi-drivers who took a longer route to get to her destination, just to earn a few more bucks from her. She said critically, "They want to test if you know the route well enough." The mother was listening to her intently as they stepped out of the lift. Immediately, the word "TRUST" came into my mind. Amazing how thoughts are faster than lightning. Cool! How did society come into this state? Why do people not trust one another anymore? Maybe the taxi-driver didn't know the shorter route? In this case, why didn't the lady tell the driver? Did she discover the shorter route later on? Hmm...If so, then no one is at fault. It's just a matter of perception then. Anyway, I even thought of my father, whom I think is not like that. He would rather drop passenger ASAP and search to pick another up, than to deliberately take a long route just to earn that few bucks more. Well, maybe you might think I'm biased because he's my father. But why would you think I'm biased? It's either you're judging, or I really am wrong. If I'm doubting my father, why would I not trust him? Because I'm afraid of what these passengers might think if I go along with my father, who might probably be one of those taxi-drivers.

    It's all a matter of what we choose to believe in,
    how we perceive things to be.

    Later, I read a book which I borrowed from the library. There's this statement which touched me the most: If you have ever loved someone, you face the possibility of someday losing that person. This is the risk of loving, but to me, loving is the only experience worth anything in this world.

    How cool is that?! :D

    It makes me think about the very first thought that impacted me today. People are afraid to love because they're afraid of being hurt, or being betrayed etc. Maybe that's why people become more careful and less trusting towards others. Walls of the heart become thicker, for self-defense and protection from even greater hurt and turmoil.

    I used to think that denial is not good, but after learning about the Kubler-Ross's 5 Stages of Grief in Medical Social Work module, I've begun to appreciate the purpose of denial. Even though denial shows that one doesn't want to face the truth, it does help people to reduce the impact and force of the unacceptable news that comes on them. :)

    Now, another thought is here: I WANT TO SLEEP. But then, it's dinnertime. *Yawns* -.-" Why is it that when I want to do something, it usually isn't the right time to do it?!



    世界因你而美丽 5:56 PM



    Sunday, December 5, 2010

    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    Introducing, the Virginia Satir's Iceberg Model:


    I think the diagram is quite self-explanatory.


    Basically, it shows the external and internal self of a person. Usually, we tend to show certain behaviour on the outside and others may think we're out of our minds, or don't understand us. Of course they don't, because their icebergs aren't ours. We only know our own internal self: beliefs, values, fears, past experiences, our thoughts and feelings, how confident we feel about ourselves etc.


    When a person is angry, he or she shows it externally, but in fact, there's so much things lying underneath that water surface, that external mask we usually use to cover up the sensitive stuff we have inside us. Hence, anger is not real. The real thing is the person's beliefs, or values, or fears... Maybe anger rose because of loss of direction in life. Maybe anger came up because of confusion or frustration. Maybe anger appeared due to disappointment, feeling upset.


    That's why we tend to regret after being angry at someone, especially our loved ones. Because when anger subsides, we think more rationally, and the real us emerge again, with the truth of being lost, being confused or frustrated, being upset or disappointed. These are the underlying feelings of what's shown on the outside.


    Going further down into our inner world, we have all those feelings because we believe that the person is someone whom we love, whom we care so much about, that we don't wish for them to get hurt. Yet, this wish wasn't fulfilled.


    Humans operate on Love.

    We're so different and unique, yet we're all the same.
    We all need Love.



    世界因你而美丽 11:57 PM





    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    My blog's birthday is actually on 12 Dec 2006, 8.46pm. haha. So it's a night baby, so different from me. Now then I realise too... I used to only remember the month only. It's quite silly to celebrate it here though. But OK lah...just for fun! :D

    I was suddenly curious about how I've grown by each year, because I know that the things and the way I blog always change every year. So without further ado, I went to browse through my past archives in December. Seriously, I was really more childish and innocent then. haha. Probably happier, 'coz my world revolved around more on friends, school, interests...all kinds of fun. I had lesser worries, lesser responsibilities.

    But at the same time, does that mean that having more responsibilities now mean I cannot enjoy myself anymore? Not really.

    I used to think that ever since I started to sleep for 4-5hours in average every night during my JC years, I can never ever get back that 8-hour beauty sleep I had till Secondary School. Well... not really. I can still rest amidst my work. :) and having more responsibilities meant that I've greater ability to take in and accomplish more work. Indeed, I'm honoured to be recognised as this. :)

    I'M OUTSTANDING! :D



    世界因你而美丽 11:20 PM





    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    Forgetting doesn't mean having no more feelings or emotions regarding something that has happened before.

    It means the memory is still there. Just the memory.



    世界因你而美丽 10:41 PM





    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    #4

    Things happen for a reason.
    Everything.



    世界因你而美丽 10:34 PM



    Friday, December 3, 2010

    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    So, I've finally completed exams. :)

    Now what?

    Of course, I've got lots of things lined up ahead of me, but I just haven't planned on when to start and where to start. I need a good lone time for myself to plan and love myself.

    During the midst of exams, a friend told me how lost she felt as she had ended her exams earlier than I did, and she suddenly felt very scared, especially with the feeling of the loss of direction. She looked so fearful then. I could really feel it in her, and I was afraid I might land in the same way like her after exams. Thank God, I didn't feel too scared. I allowed myself to take some time to rest and think. :) *hugs to myself!*

    I woke up this morning, feeling very comfortable knowing that I don't have to face the mountainous notes and books anymore, or rush to school for exam. It felt good. I could finally live properly. haha.

    A thought came to my mind while I was washing up: one person. just one person could do anything to create change in this world. one.

    I kept focusing on the word "one". I don't know why, but somehow it appealed to me more strongly ever today. The change of one person, myself. I could pray. I could laugh and spread the happiness around. I could live life with many colours. I could provide the warmth to people. I could create changes. For the better. By changing myself. So easy. I don't have to change the world. I just change myself. Simple. :)

    I don't want to hope that people can change anymore. I feel so tired doing that.

    Just like the previous post, I always love that quote by Gandhi.
    Be the change you want to see in this world.
    If you want to change the world, change yourself first.

    I just finished watching Pay It Forward. Awesome movie. :)
    Believe in the goodness of humans.
    Such an ardous experience just to spread love to 3 people. Yet, he could still love and live however he wanted it to be, despite the failures. No, he didn't fail. He was a winner. Never gave up even though he seemed to have lost all 3 of these people. A winner perserveres till the end. Trevor, I'm going to name my future son (if any) this. HAHA. Wonderful child. :)

    And for the December holidays, Gandhi's quote and Trevor's idea are going to be what I keep in my heart to spur myself on.

    December! It's going to be my blog's 4th birthday! YAY! :D

    Continue to love the world and yourself!
    Angel wings around you! :D
    AND HARRY POTTER, HERE I COME!!!!!
    oh gosh, I'm going to be late!



    世界因你而美丽 1:28 PM





    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    #3
    Be the change you want to see in the world. -Mohandas Gandhi



    世界因你而美丽 1:22 PM



    Wednesday, December 1, 2010

    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    OK, this is going to be one of my rants again.

    Dear sis, I seriously admire you for being so patient with that person. How can you be able to talk so long to this person?? The tone of this person (OK, let me just call this person A) is usually so critical. Hate it.

    Don't think I couldn't hear what you were talking to A about. It was again so hurting.

    Because of A's face issue, I had to be compared to some other rich folks. Oh yeah~? Who cares about these rich folks' lives? Why must I be compared to others when I myself can lead my own good life?

    Because of money.

    Yet, again...

    I'm being treated like a piece of sh*t.
    And I HATE IT.



    世界因你而美丽 11:17 PM





    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    Frustrations--When things happen over and over again, yet one can't do anything.
    --Dr Pon



    世界因你而美丽 8:57 PM





    rainbow of fruits♥ ♥

    #2
    Always in the process of trying to figure out this word called Life.
    Simple as it seems, but deep and complicated it may be.



    世界因你而美丽 10:46 AM