My journey of post-chemotherapy.

Firstly, it was severe constipation.

Then, it became severe diarrhoea.

Afterwhich, I lost my physical energy and appetite.

Slowly, as I became stronger and gained back my appetite, my mouth ulcers appeared gradually, and I progressively couldn't bite or chew even the softest jelly.

I drooled at my parents' lunch. I stared hungrily at my brother's macaroni, and even created a song for it. I looked at my sister's delicious dinner. I witnessed so many people who could eat and taste the heavenly food. The most distasteful organic meals at home have even become something I crave so much suddenly. Yet, I can't eat them.

Oh! How I wish I could eat and chew again! I don't care how disgusting the food taste. I just want to eat and chew!

Today, my hair finally is going to meet its end. Tomorrow, I'll most likely be a nun. Cheers!

Next week, I'm going to see the doctor again.
Another round of chemotherapy? Another round of the above list?
No, I'm going to decide for myself this time. ;)

Interesting process huh? One episode after the other... It's quite wonderful seeing how things happen around me and to me.

Of course, who says I'm not scared? Who says I'm brave? Who says I'm not upset? I have all these. I'm just like anyone else. I cannot deny I'm not those. People tell me to stay positive, but that's almost impossible. I need my own space to vent, to cry, to feel scared and so on. Only then can I move on and be more ready to face another strange and unfamiliar experience. These are negative emotions, but they helped me to realize what the people who went through chemotherapy experienced, how they felt. They helped me understand even deeper about life and death. I fall, but I stand back up again. I learn and I grow. Negative emotions aren't really bad. They're great! They're my teachers. :)

And I'm still learning how to face and treat these teachers with even more gracefulness and gratitude.

So this is my two weeks of journey. :D