Faint and dizzy spells happened so often the past few days. I don't know if it's me being too eager to feel better after my 3rd round of chemo so I'm saying this is not really very normal, or is it really the side-effects affecting my body more for this round as compared to the 2nd round. I don't like being so lethargic and nausea all day. I can't do what I want to do and time just passed by like that. A normal person could do one or two chores within 5 minutes, but I've to spend almost a day to do so. It's so terrible. I feel like I'm not keeping up to my life. Maybe I should go Australia to recover huh? That would be so good. I can recover without any stress. The pace is so slow over there. I wish I could be less affected by this rat race that I'm surrounded with.

Mouth and throat dryness experience these few days as well, disturbing me in my sleep. Sometimes I wish I don't have to sleep, because I've to keep waking up and go toilet and drink water, but my body usually doesn't cooperate so I've to wake up reluctantly to do all these and then repeat the entire experience all over again, checking the clock time and again, hoping dawn would break soon and get me out of this. I only wish to sleep from night till dawn without any sleep disturbances. It seems impossible that it would happen anytime soon. Naps are also affected as well. I'm sure many people would definitely admire how much rest I could have in my life right now, but I can't even sleep and rest properly, so no matter how much time I have for rest, I'm just suffering just like how you all can't get enough sleep. I'd rather make myself as tired as possible and then go to sleep so that I'll be too tired to wake up.

In another few more days, my ulcers might develop. I'm not sure if I can prevent it from developing this time, but I'm still trying. I really dislike the chemo medicine. hmphs!

The 3 months deadline of recovery that I gave myself is almost up: May.

I just want to lead a simple life.